The Gift of Breastfeeding

Breast is best. It's true and it is best for more than just sustenance. I knew that I wanted to exclusively breastfeed and breastfeed for as long as possible and I wanted to do it for the benefit of my baby. However, breastfeeding has been such a gift for myself as well. I find it soothing to watch my baby find so much comfort at the breast. I love the intimate connection I feel when I am feeding my child from my own body.
Breastfeeding came easy to us both. April never struggled with latching or getting enough and I have never had a problem with supply or blocked ducts. The only issue that came up was sore nipples in the very beginning but I just grit my teeth and got past it (and occasionally I'm painfully engorged but that is easily remedied by a hungry baby). Sometimes I wonder if breastfeeding had not been so simple for us if we would have the same loving interaction when it comes to nursing.
I strongly believe that everyone woman should breastfeed her baby and if she cannot, seek a source of human breast milk. April has benefited hugely already. She never lost weight (she lost 1/2 oz right after she was born but quickly gained it back) and has consistently put on at least 1 oz per day since her birth. She rarely spits up (which is more common with formula feed babies) and it very well hydrated without supplementing with water (I was formula fed and often needed to be supplemented with water in order to stay hydrated). I suffer hugely with allergies so by breastfeeding exclusively I hope to curb that problem for her. She also hasn't really had much in the way of any illnesses so far. She's had a stuffy nose but that's it. I kind of expected her to get something by now since we frequently ride the bus and spend time in public places with all those coughing and sniffling folk but I believe because she is breastfed she has been able to fend off anything that's come her way so far.
Aside for those health benefits, I think our bond is so much stronger because we nurse. Sometimes if she is upset she doesn't even need to really nurse, I can just put her skin to skin near the breast and she calms down. When she was first born, she nursed skin to skin everytime she needed to eat. I just so love the feeling, I can't put it into words but if you have ever nursed your child you know that feeling.
Cheers to the boob!

April nursing just 4 hours after she was born.

Pregnancy Reads

I've been doing a little reflecting on my pregnancy and I've started putting away some of my pregnancy books and I thought I would make a few notes here about what books I found helpful. There were some that I did mean to read but just ran out of time.

Magical Beginnings, Enchanted Lives by Deepak Chopra
I really liked this book. At first I found it to be a little strange (one of the early exercises asked you to imagine yourself inside your womb holding your baby and I found myself laughing at the image it conjured) but in the end I found real benefit from the positive tone and uplifting exercises. This book offered some great suggestions for coping with the physical and emotional changes that accompany pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum.
Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn by Penny Simkin
This was my go-to book whenever I had a concern or issue I wanted to look up. Penny Simkin is great a taking a pretty neutral stance on birth. She has information in there for both the homebirth setting and hospital setting. I never really sat down and read this book instead I just kept coming back to it from 8 weeks onward.
Birthing from Within by Pam England
This book was an interesting read. I think it is more geared towards women who have a lot a fear and anxiety about childbirth. I didn't really feel that I fell into that category so some of the exercises in this book seemed a little pointless to me. I did enjoy reading the chapter on dealing with the pain of childbirth. I thought she offered a lot of good tips for coping with the fear that accompanies pain.
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
This is one of the very first books I read in regards to a more natural approach to childbirth. I think it is really hard these days to find women with positive birth stories. When I first started investigating midwives and homebirth I put this book on the top of my list to read. The first half of the book is a collection of really inspiring and empowering stories of natural births. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is interested in learning more about birthing in a natural way.
The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin
This is a great book to share with your birth partner. I left it out for Jon to read but he never really got into it. I ended up reading through it and folding down the corners on the pages I thought had the most valuable information and asked him to read one of those sections each day. I choose the topics on birth positions and different touch techniques that I wanted him to try. This book is a great companion to birth classes. It just takes the info taught there to the next level. I think it is a good book for boosting the confidence of a partner who is about to attend their first birth.
Dr. Jack Newman's Guide to Breastfeeding by Dr. Jack Newman
Again this is a book that I didn't really read cover-to-cover but I'm using as a reference. I don't really think this book should be read cover-to-cover because I feel it could increase a mother's anxiety about breastfeeding. I found that reading about potential problems actually made me feel really nervous about nursing rather than confident that we could do it. Instead I put the book down and came back to it for tips on sore nipples and painfully engorged breasts. I would recommend any breastfeeding mother have this book on hand.

There were a few more books that I read but I don't really feel are worth mentioning. I think there is a fine line between reading to expand your options and open your mind and reading too much and creating anxiety. Choose carefully what kind of books you read during pregnancy, try to choose ones with a neutral stand on birth (ones that don't discourage homebirth or hospital birth) and ones with a positive tone.

Where We Stand

Everyone has their own views on how to raise children. It seems logical that many of us raise our own children the way we were raised. Not that my parents did anything wrong in raising me, in fact I think I turned out pretty good. The journey to adulthood however was a rocky one and I'm hoping by recognizing what I felt I needed in my childhood (and ultimately didn't really get) that I can give my own child a better journey towards the grown up they choose to be. Here are my thoughts on how we plan on raising our child (these are just thoughts, I want to be totally flexible so that I can adjust to my child's needs as well as my own).

Birth: Seems like the logical place to start. We are planning a peaceful homebirth. I have a great husband, doula and midwife so my confidence in our choice to birth at home is really high. I feel like I can be relaxed here and that things are more likely to go the way nature intended it if we are away from the medical world. Plus I can't tell you how wonderful it sounds to give birth in your home, have a shower in your own bathroom and crawl into your own bed with your new little baby and sleep uninterrupted by nurses and hospital going-ons.

Breastfeeding: The benefits of breastfeeding are impossible to ignore. Formula is not an option for us. We have a postpartum doula who will help me get the hang of breastfeeding if needed. I am also hoping to breastfeed for an extended period of time. It would be great if we could breastfeed until age 4 or 5 but we will just have to go with the flow on that one.

Sleeping: I was "taught" to sleep using the Faber method of crying it out. I don't think this method taught me to self soothe but rather taught me anxiety. We plan to co-sleep to the best of our abilities. We have a very small bedroom so we don't really have room for a family bed. We have a side-car co-sleeper for the early days but once the baby is older we are going to have find a different solution to the bed issue. The other problem that could affect our ability to co-sleep is that I am a light sleeper and Jon snores. If our baby is a light sleeper Jon may have to sleep elsewhere or if the baby makes noises all night I may not be able to handle so little sleep between the two of them. Again, we will just have to see how it goes.

Diapering/Pottying: I think I've mentioned before that we are going to try to practice Elimination Communication with our child. Jon and I both find it really strange to teach your child to eliminate into a diaper only to tell them a few years later that they should actually eliminate into the toilet. Baby's have the ability to recognize when they need to potty and if you recognize those cues of when they need to go and take them to the potty they will learn from the beginning to communicate with you about their elimination needs. Being that this is our first child I'm not putting a lot of pressure on myself to catch every pee or poop but I do hope that we can communicate regularly enough that eventually we don't really have to work at it, it will just be as natural as nursing. I do recognize that we will need to use diapers and when it comes to diapers I'm going to try to be strictly cloth diapering. We do have some disposables but I'm hoping to only use those when we are traveling and can't wash diapers or if we run out of clean diapers (which really should never happen but hey, it's good to be prepared).

Parenting: I believe in attachment parenting. I believe that children are to be respected as individuals from infancy. I'm not here to lord over my children, I'm here to love them and guide them. Creating a strong bond between mother and child is not about coddling them but about establishing love and trust. I want my child to be free to express themselves from an early age and be allowed to make their own decisions. However, I don't want to be disrespected in the process (for example, I don't want my needs for quiet or rest to be ignore because my child wants to run around yelling whenever he/she feels like it). We've been looking into the Montessori philosophy and reading books like Montessori from the Start and How to Raise an Amazing Child The Montessori Way. While I don't plan on using everything outlined in those books, I do really appreciate the emphasis on responsibility and respect. I feel that manners are an important social attribute and I like the way Montessori goes about teaching manners. We also plan on using the philosophy of consensual living in our home. Consensual living means that the needs of everyone are not only acknowledged but are included in the decision making process and solutions are mutually agreed upon. And finally I hope that in my communications with my family that I can continue to practice non-violent communication. I will admit that it can be real challenge, especially when I'm tired or stressed, but I do notice people respond well to it and I think it will be an effective method of communication with my child.

Schooling: Our plan regarding school is up in the air. I know that I do not want to send my child through the public school system however I'm not overly comfortable with homeschooling. I've been thinking of either a Montessori school (though many in the area don't go past grade 3) or a bio-regional school. I'm thinking that I will just put our child on the waiting lists and decide later. I've got more research to do.

Beautiful Breastfeeding Video

I love this video. It is so beautiful and completely conveys the joy of breastfeeding for both mothers and children. I think breastfeeding is so important.



I am saddened by this attack on breastfeeding mothers on Facebook. Emma Kwasnica has been fighting with Facebook on an ongoing basis about the right to publish photos of her breastfeeding her children. I must admire her for her fight and I hope that when it comes time for me to breastfeed my children that the world will be more accepting of breastfeeding mothers.