In Progress

I've sadly been absent from this space for the past few weeks. Normally this would be a busy and exciting time for us as the Christmas season is upon us. However, I've been stuck in bed for several weeks and doing nothing of real interest. Except maybe working on something big, or rather, small. We should be welcoming our new tiny addition sometime in March. In the mean time, I'm pushing through the nausea, exhaustion and headaches to try to savor these last few months of one-on-one time with my little girl. And I suppose I'm also trying to do some crafting on the side.

So this space may go neglected from time to time as we go through this period of change. I hope, though, that I can update at least every couple of weeks. This is such a special place for me and of course a wonderful way to share with all of you.

Placenta Magic

When I was researching the benefits of placenta in postpartum recovery, I could not have anticipated how much of a difference it would make for me.
During the first few days after birth, I was struggling with severe baby blues. I was so tired that I was not thinking rationally and every little things felt like the end of the world. I was crying, feeling panicky and just overwhelmed. It was hard to feel the joy of life with my new baby when I felt so depressed. On the third day Jon started the process of encapsulating my placenta for me. It took a full day to do but once I started taking the pills, it only took 2 doses to make a noticeable difference. I feel content, happy and more confident in my new role as a mom.
The process of encapsulating is actually not that difficult. Jon washed the placenta, steamed it, sliced it, dried it over night in the oven, ground it up and put it in capsules. Really anyone could do it and it would only take about 8 hours for the whole process. My placenta made about 200 caps.

I think the beauty of using placenta over any other herbal or pharmaceutical treatment is that it is custom made for you and your baby. So no worries about it getting in your breast-milk and no side effects for you. As gross as you may think it is, I feel like it is an amazing gift for you and your baby. To learn more about the benefits of placenta visit Placenta Benefits and for step by step instructions for encapsulating your own placenta visit this site.

Pregnancy Reads

I've been doing a little reflecting on my pregnancy and I've started putting away some of my pregnancy books and I thought I would make a few notes here about what books I found helpful. There were some that I did mean to read but just ran out of time.

Magical Beginnings, Enchanted Lives by Deepak Chopra
I really liked this book. At first I found it to be a little strange (one of the early exercises asked you to imagine yourself inside your womb holding your baby and I found myself laughing at the image it conjured) but in the end I found real benefit from the positive tone and uplifting exercises. This book offered some great suggestions for coping with the physical and emotional changes that accompany pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum.
Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn by Penny Simkin
This was my go-to book whenever I had a concern or issue I wanted to look up. Penny Simkin is great a taking a pretty neutral stance on birth. She has information in there for both the homebirth setting and hospital setting. I never really sat down and read this book instead I just kept coming back to it from 8 weeks onward.
Birthing from Within by Pam England
This book was an interesting read. I think it is more geared towards women who have a lot a fear and anxiety about childbirth. I didn't really feel that I fell into that category so some of the exercises in this book seemed a little pointless to me. I did enjoy reading the chapter on dealing with the pain of childbirth. I thought she offered a lot of good tips for coping with the fear that accompanies pain.
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
This is one of the very first books I read in regards to a more natural approach to childbirth. I think it is really hard these days to find women with positive birth stories. When I first started investigating midwives and homebirth I put this book on the top of my list to read. The first half of the book is a collection of really inspiring and empowering stories of natural births. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is interested in learning more about birthing in a natural way.
The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin
This is a great book to share with your birth partner. I left it out for Jon to read but he never really got into it. I ended up reading through it and folding down the corners on the pages I thought had the most valuable information and asked him to read one of those sections each day. I choose the topics on birth positions and different touch techniques that I wanted him to try. This book is a great companion to birth classes. It just takes the info taught there to the next level. I think it is a good book for boosting the confidence of a partner who is about to attend their first birth.
Dr. Jack Newman's Guide to Breastfeeding by Dr. Jack Newman
Again this is a book that I didn't really read cover-to-cover but I'm using as a reference. I don't really think this book should be read cover-to-cover because I feel it could increase a mother's anxiety about breastfeeding. I found that reading about potential problems actually made me feel really nervous about nursing rather than confident that we could do it. Instead I put the book down and came back to it for tips on sore nipples and painfully engorged breasts. I would recommend any breastfeeding mother have this book on hand.

There were a few more books that I read but I don't really feel are worth mentioning. I think there is a fine line between reading to expand your options and open your mind and reading too much and creating anxiety. Choose carefully what kind of books you read during pregnancy, try to choose ones with a neutral stand on birth (ones that don't discourage homebirth or hospital birth) and ones with a positive tone.

Due Date

Today is my due date and I am grumpy. Things are really going downhill. My hips and back hurt so much that there is very little I can do anymore. The pain will actually wake me in the night. I've had a couple contractions but nothing ever comes of them. So I'm wondering how I'm going to cope with labor when I'm so miserable going into it. I'm sleep deprived, my hips hurt too much to walk, my back hurts too much to lie down or bend down and my nausea is wearing me out. I was in better shape last week but now I'm worried that I'm going to just be an emotional, exhausted mess when labor actually starts.
I've been doing a few things to help ease my mind. I made motivational flashcards for people to read to me when I'm feeling defeated. I've put out all the candles and incense I want for labor. I've been listening to songs that I find really calming (like this one).



I've also been practicing my labor breathing to get me through those moments of "I can't take it anymore!" Everything seems to be taking the edge off but I'm still feeling really frustrated. Come out! Come out! I promise it will be nice out here!!

Belly Cast

Today some very good friends of mine came over to help me do a belly cast. It ended up being a really nice day. We had lunch, chatted about babies and made a cast of my large belly. It was an interesting feeling to be lathered with Vaseline and then covered in plaster but in the end it was kind of fun. Jon and I were supposed to do a maternity photo shoot with the photographer from our wedding but unfortunately some personal problems arose and we couldn't get them done so I'm really grateful to have the belly cast. I think once I get it painted I'll hang it on the wall in our bedroom.

We meant to take pictures of the process but to be honest we all had stuff on our hands so I'm not sure who was supposed be holding a camera. I was feeling a little self-conscious about my large body and wasn't sure that I wanted the largeness immortalized in plaster but I like the way it turned out. I'm looking forward to putting a design on it. Thank you Kyrie and Lindsay! It was a really fun day.

Eviction Notice

Alright Baby, this is your eviction notice. You have one week to vacate the womb before things get really unpleasant.
I'm not sure how much longer I can stand to be pregnant. Yes, I know I'm still a week away from my EDD but this is just torture. The baby is really low in my pelvis and every-so-often it will pinch a nerve and I can't move my hip. I have to pee almost constantly (which isn't helped by the fact that I am perpetually thirsty). I can't really dress myself, socks and shoes are almost impossible so I'm wearing clogs in the rain. I can't find a comfortable position to sleep in so sleep is often limited to a cluster of 2 hour naps throughout the day. I can feel pressure on my cervix and I've been having a lot of lower back and hip pain. Also, occasionally I'll get menstrual-like cramps and nausea. It seems like this should be it but nothing is happening.
In an attempt to motivate the baby out I've started taking long walks every night, using evening primrose oil and eating spicy food. Fingers crossed that something will work and this baby will make it's appearance asap!
In light of this babe taking it's time, you still have time to place your bets!

36 weeks

It is very weird to think that this is the end and that within a month I will be holding my baby. I'm starting to get a little impatient.
I'm definitely starting to get really uncomfortable. The baby is now big enough that when he/she kicks, it really really hurts. Because it's getting so squishy in there most of the kicks seem to be directed up into my rib cage and will often take my breath away. My ND says it is a sign of a very healthy babe but it's leaving me a little sore (and slightly bruised).
I've started to get the pregnant lady waddle. My hips are widening for the birth so now I walk kind of funny and at the end of the day my hips are quite sore. I've found warm baths to be so relaxing and really help with both the hip pain and the braxton hicks contractions but I'm almost too pregnant to get out of the tub on my own. It really make me want to cry. The good news is that I think water will be a really helpful tool for coping with the pain of childbirth and we recently bought ourselves a La Bassine pool for that very purpose. I hope I get to use it (I bought it second-hand. The woman who owned it before me didn't even get to blow it up because her labor was that quick).
Yesterday we went on our hospital tour as part of our childbirth preparation class. While I thought it was important that we go on the tour because there is always the chance that we would need to transfer there, all I feel it did was solidify our plans to birth at home. The rooms were small (add a birth ball, doula, husband, and midwife and there would be no room to move about), no tubs, the showers were so tiny that if Jon wanted to stand in there and rub my back he really couldn't, and I felt so uncomfortable just standing there, I'm not sure I could relax if I had to labor in one of those rooms. Prior to the tour I was really wondering if I could do this at home with no chance of drugs so I could sleep during a long labor but now I'm just so motivated to do what it takes to birth my baby in a clean, warm, safe environment (the maternity ward at our local hospital recently had an outbreak of Strep A and is still under restrictions to prevent another outbreak).
I am officially on maternity leave now so I am beginning the endless task of getting ready for baby. I've started making meals to freeze so we don't have to do take out. I'm also making sure that everything gets washed (all the diapers, sheets, towels, etc) so I'm not trying to do laundry in early labor. The baby's room still needs some work but it's getting there. I have a few sewing projects on the go that I would like to finish. I'm hoping to make myself a couple nursing tops, a few soft toys for the babe, and mama cloths for postpartum bleeding. I'm also compiling squares for a birth quilt. Stay tuned for updates on that.
Can't wait to meet you little baby, we are almost ready for you!

30 weeks

We are nearing the end! Time seems to be slowing down a bit now that the end is in sight. I have 5 more weeks of work before I go on maternity leave. To be honest, I really wish I could leave now. I work with children in the community and there are a lot of parents who bring their children to our programs even when they are quite sick. I can't do much to keep these colds away. I've had 3 illnesses in the past 2 months. I'm getting really tired of sniffling and coughing. Plus I just feel like I have so much to do at home that maybe 2-6 weeks won't be enough.
Christmas is coming and I am so excited. This will be our first Christmas as a married couple and our last as just the two of us. Usually I spend much of December making gifts. I feel like homemade gifts mean so much more. This year however, I have been piling in as many hour at work as I can so we can better afford my maternity leave. I'm going to try to spend my evenings crafting and baking but we will see how well that plan goes.
I'm starting to feel like a big slow blob. Last week it snowed quite a bit here so I had to leave my car and walk to work. My belly felt so heavy and it seemed like I was never going to make it work. The babe is pushing on my diaphragm so I feel very out of breath and my hips are sore so I more waddle than walk. Getting a much sleep as possible is on the top of my list. Thank goodness for my body pillow because without it I'm pretty sure sleep would be a lot harder to get.
We are almost totally prepared, product-wise, for the babe. We have our Arms Reach co-sleeper, Beco carrier, Britax car seat, more clothes than my baby could ever need, a couple different types of diapers, bedding, receiving blankets and we are starting to get our homebirth supplies together. I'm really starting to feel excited about this birth. We are almost done our childbirth preparation classes and I think we both are feeling really good about our decision to birth at home. We have also chosen a doula to help us through the process. Yes, I still feel nervous but I am confident that I am making good choices.
Just 7 more weeks and I'll be considered full-term. I can't wait!

A Few Pregancy Blessings

It has probably become clear to those of you who read this blog that I am not having the best time being pregnant however I am thankful for a select few thing that are making the journey a little easier.

 Since about the middle of my pregnancy I would wake up in the night with terrible charlie horses in the legs and then spend the rest of the day limping around with leg cramps. So instead of having to eat half a dozen bananas everyday, I decided to try coconut water. And it seems to be working. One can of coconut water with dinner and the cramps are not a issue.

 Throughout my pregnancy there have been times when I really just need a blood sugar boost. I used to eat these before I got pregnant but now I have to have them in my fridge. I always toss one or more in my purse before I go out. If I'm feeling a little nauseous, having something like this, with a little protein, helps. Or if I'm so hungry I could eat a horse, I'll have one of these to curb that hunger until I can make a proper meal.

 This pillow has changed my life. It was a ridiculous amount of hassle to get it here but now that I have it, I'm in love. Before it arrived I was using up to 4 pillows to support my knees, back, belly and neck but every time I tried to change position one would fall off the bed and lets face it, rectangular pillows don't really mold to the contours of a pregnant body. From the moment I put this in my bed, I have always been able to find a comfortable way to sleep and I've have less stiffness and soreness in the morning. My only complaint is that the pillowcase doesn't fit very well so taking it of and putting it back on after washing is a huge fiasco.

 

A growing belly is a tender thing and as much as I want to squish into my pre-pregnancy pants, the discomfort is enough to make one feel nauseous. Thyme Maternity's stretchy lounge pants are amazing. I have found them so comfortable and yet warm enough to wear on those cold days we've been having. I really didn't want to spend a lot of money on maternity clothes but these pants were totally worth it.

As some of you may recall from an earlier post, I was suffering from the terrible itch that accompanies stretching skin. My belly was so bad it had broken out in hives. This is the only stuff that seems to help (plus it smells nicer than most of the artificially scented products out there). Jon rubs it on my belly every night. The hives have disappeared and the itch isn't nearly as bad. It's not doing much for the stretch marks but as long as I'm not clawing at my belly because of the horrendous itch, I'm happy.

The Ups and Downs of Pregnancy

Message to baby, written at about 2:30am....
Thanks a lot kid, what exactly is it that is comfy about my spine? Hmmmm? No, no I didn't need sleep tonight. I mean I didn't really get much sleep last night but I'm good to go 3 days with less than 8 hours total sleep. Oh please, by all means shove your butt in my hip socket, I don't need to be able to bend at the waist to get out of bed. No wait, actually I DO! Especially now that you have shoved an elbow into my bladder and I have to pee, like right now! (enter sobbing) I'm so tired and sore. I just want to sleep and go pee. (I beg Jon to roll me out of bed because my hip hurts too much to sit on the side of the bed) Why do women voluntarily do this more than once? I have 13 weeks left and I already want to curl up in a ball and die. I'm constantly hungry but nothing ever appeals to me, I constantly have to pee even though I just peed 10 minutes ago and I'm soo tired but I'm too sore to get any sleep. I think I'm about to loose my mind. (I go pee and lay back down and try to get comfy, when the rolling and kicking begins in my belly). I'm not sure that you realize this baby, but it is really difficult to sleep when you do an entire Cirque-du-Soleil show in my belly. I think you and I are going to have a problem once you are born. See, I like to sleep, I need to sleep and you are just going to have to deal with that. (I look over at Jon who is completely asleep and snoring and mumble...) Stupid Jon, look at him sleeping over there, all comfy and stuff. I hate dads, they get off so easy. Why don't you head over there and keep your dad up for a change, huh? (at about 3am I basically completely give in to the exhaustion and sleep from 3.5 hours).

Message to baby, written at about 4pm the next day...
You are so fun! I feel you kicking me baby! Can you feel my hand? I'm here. I wonder who you will be in this world. Will you love music like I do? Will you love to read like your parents? Will you love the natural world? We can't wait to take you on hikes and walks and discover all the wonder around us with you. And when you are older, we will go camping. We will have so much fun together baby! I hope I'm doing the right things for you already baby, and I hope your dad and I give you the best up-bringing we can. I hope I'm a good mom. I promise to comfort you when you cry, feed you when you are hungry, open your horizons and never hold you back from the person you want to become. (baby rolls in my belly) You seem happy today! I can't wait to meet you baby! We love you already, did you know that? I hope you can feel how much we love you. See you soon!

 Disclaimer: I do not hate my child, in the top post I was tired and grumpy and needed someone to blame. I would never wish bad things for my baby or abuse it in any way.

23 weeks

I must say that the second trimester is not the fun times that everyone described. Thanks to an anterior placenta, I have a babe who loves to curl up around my spine. I'm so tired of this constant back and hip pain. Trying to get to sleep at night as been a constant challenge. Nothing feels comfortable and some positions make it worse. I need a good nights sleep so badly. Everyone keeps telling me that it just preparation for the baby. But I know that newborn sleep (wake up frequently but do sleep) and I'm totally ok with taking little naps throughout the day to catch up on sleep. Naps are tough when you are working your butt off so you can get a decent maternity leave.
The babe has been kicking a bit more. But again, because the baby is so far back it's had to feel anything really reliable or have an idea of how often I'm feeling it. Every so often I do feel little bumps against my cervix and on my left side.
I'm dealing with a little bit of maternity blues. A couple weeks ago I had a really bad cold. Being pregnant means you can't take any ColdFX, sudafed, Buckleys, etc. I was coughing so much it was keeping me up at night so the doctor said I could use a little Robitussin which did help a little. To spite frequent saline rinses and tons of garlic and vitamin C, I still ended up with a (very very bad) sinus and chest infection and had to do a week of antibiotics. So that all left me feeling a little down and now with the lack of sleep, I'm just feeling worse. I hope this all goes away soon. Maybe when Jon and I start our birthing classes and we interact with more expectant parents my mood will improve.
Well there you go...week 23. Do any mamas out there have a suggestion for dealing with the itch of stretching skin? I've tried belly butter and Aveeno cream but neither is helping much. I'm open to anything.

More Baby Pictures

 Back by popular demand, it's the new babe! This time it was so co-operative, the whole ultrasound only took 15 minutes. In the picture above you can see the lovely spine we saw so much of the first time.

 This picture is my favorite. On the right there you can see two little feet. I can't wait kiss those little toes and put little booties on them.

This one, I personally find kinda creepy. This is looking at the baby's face straight on. It looks like some sort of dinosaur to me. You can also see a little arm in there too.
The overall outcome was good. Everything is just fine, good heart, good size. My placenta is anterior but healthy. So all-in-all just what we were hoping for!

Vancouver Island Baby Fair

Today I went to the annual Vancouver Island Baby Fair with a friend of mine who is also expecting. It was actually a really fun experience to be in one area with so many other new and expecting parents. We picked up some great information on Hypnobirthing (not sure if we are going to invest in trying this one but it was interesting to learn about it), cloth diapering and breastfeeding. I listened to an interesting presentation by Eva Bild, the owner of Mothering Touch, on breastfeeding. I didn't get to hear the whole thing but the part I heard was about how to nurse a baby who is fussing and signaling that they are hungry but are having trouble calming down enough to get a good latch. It was interesting and I'm glad I caught that part.
I was also really interested to see all the different types of cloth diapers out there. We are definitely planning on using cloth diapers and I already have a variety going. I want to make sure I try different styles so I can find the type that fits and works best (so I've got pre-folds, fitted, all-in-ones and one size).
We also checked out the huge variety of children's toys that were on display. I'm really taken with all the natural wood toys. There were some really beautiful toys out there. I'm hoping to stay away from all those plastic (not really BPA free plastic either) and enameled toys. I love the stack-able wooden houses, rainbows and trees. They had wooden push bikes, wooden cars and just a whole bunch of really cool things. I'm going to try not to buy toys though until Jon has finished building the toy box.
Finally, my friend and I both got an awesome maternity dress. It's organic bamboo and it was 60% off. It was a major score. I also got a coupon that I later used to get some bamboo leggings to go with my new dress. Definitely a good day for maternity wear!
In the end I left with some good info and some good deals. I also entered a bunch of draws so fingers crossed that we win at least one of them! The fair is on tomorrow as well so for more information visit their website.

Quickening

The quickening has begun. I wasn't really sure at first that what I was feeling was movement but the past two days I've definitely felt little flicks and twitches deep in my belly. It's still a little difficult to distinguish baby from gas but I enjoy the moments when I know for sure.
I've had a wicked cold for the past 6 days so I wonder if the baby is moving around more from the stress I've been under. I've been doing my best to rest (sleep isn't really happening since I'm having so much trouble breathing at night) and get lots of vitamins.
I like these little flutters I feel. I wish they stayed this faint and magical but I know I'm in for some solid kicks and punches as the baby gets bigger. Oh well, at least I know you are still there baby!

Halfway!

I'm 20 weeks pregnant! I am thrilled to have reached the halfway point. I feel like this is the point when I should start enjoying being pregnant. So far things have been pretty unpleasant (what with all the sickness and exhaustion) so I'm looking forward to the days where I feel well enough to sit back and be happy.
Don't get me wrong, I'm really happy and excited to be having a baby but I'm not enjoying pregnancy. I want to be one of those women who fully embraces the body changes and talks to her belly all the time. I just feel fat, my boobs hurt, my belly is itchy from the skin stretching and talking to my belly seems really strange to me right now.
The one thing I have been doing is increasing my time playing music. I've been playing my piano more and singing a lot more so the baby learns to love music from the moment he/she starts to hear. I'm the only really musical person in my family so I'm very much hoping that my child takes to music and we can play together!
As I round the bend into the last half of this pregnancy, I've started to prepare myself for the changes ahead. I've started thinking about what I want and need from this birth, what are my fears and what works for me to stay calm, relaxed and present? I've also started reading Birthing from Within. I'm not very far into it and I know it's still early to be getting fully prepared for birth but what I want to start doing is getting myself into a different mindset where I can focus on the end result and do what's necessary to get through it. I tend to be the kind of person who crumbles under stress and I'm also prone to anxiety in situations where I feel I've lost control. I want to control this type of reaction and be prepared mentally for what's ahead (not just birth but also parenting). Birth (and parenting) is not something you can really control so I need to be confident going into that experience so I'm less likely to cave and have an anxiety attack while in labor.
Overall, I feel that this pregnancy is going well and I'm feeling excited about the little person who will be joining us in about 20 more weeks.

Look what I'm making!

Yup! I've been working on it for a while now and it's finally starting to take form. They are estimating completion to be around the end of January or early February.
I've been feeling pretty yucky lately. I've been really nauseous, had terrible migraines and a really sore belly. My food options are really limited right now because I can't really eat meat or vegetables so basically my diet is based on dairy, fruit and water with the occasional bean dish thrown in there.
Today was the mid-pregnancy ultrasound. We went for diagnostic purposes, to check for any defects. However, the little bugger had a different plan. It lay with it's back to us the whole time. Occasionally we could see an arm and we could definitely see that it has a lovely spine but we couldn't check the heart or even see the umbilical cord. I lay there for 45mins with a very full bladder and them jabbing my belly trying to get the baby to turn around but it's stubborn already. Thanks little one, now we have to go back.
Oh well, at least we got a decent picture.