First Tooth Lost

I was not prepared for A to start losing teeth this early. When she came to me to show off her wiggly tooth I was in denial. But sure enough, two weeks later out it came. I wish I was more prepared though. I wanted to make it so much more magical for her. I had plans to make a special Tooth Fairy box but A told me her tooth didn't need a box, it only goes under her pillow. So that's where the Tooth Fairy found it. A was thrilled with her special surprise from her fairy friend.

Learning Lifecycles

It's spring and new life is popping up everywhere. It was the perfect time to start talking about life cycles. A is very interested in nature and biology so this grabbed her attention immediately. We frequently visit the butterfly gardens in town and observe chrysalis there. We also have chicks we are observing go through the changes to chicken. We have painted lady larvae we will be raising coming next month and we are hoping to raise a couple tadpoles to frogs as well. It's such a fascinating topic. There are so many processes of development in nature.

 We made sure to stop by the library and stock up on books to help us answer all our life cycle questions. While information books are really helpful, I was glad to find some story books that we could read a bedtime that tied into what we had been discussing. Hurry and the Monarch and Tale of a Tadpole were great stories for us and beautifully illustrated.

One more place we are observing life cycles is in the garden. Seeds are sprouting, bulbs we planted in the fall are blooming, trees are blossoming. I asked A to draw me a life cycle and she drew the life cycle of a tree. On the left under the dirt is a green seed (like the green acorns we find in September) that has sprouted, then it becomes a seedling before finally growing into a tree. She made sure to tell me about the sun and how the plants need the sun. I love when she shares her knowledge with me.

In the Playroom

In our home we only have 3 bedrooms. When we learned we were expecting our second child I thought we would have the perfect number of rooms. However once we added another small person into our lives I found the bedrooms became cluttered with playthings. So about a year ago I decided I'd rather have my children share a room for sleep and have a room devoted just to play. It has worked out very well for us. Not only do we have almost no toys in the rooms we sleep in but they have space to play that they didn't before.

Play is so essential to child development. I will be the very first to admit my house is a mess. I work part-time, I have two high energy children, I have little closet space in the my house. However, I always make time to clean the playroom. I just feel that if that room is messy it limits how they can play. I want them to play as much as they can. They are building essential skills and that's important to me.

I have a preference for open-ended toys. You won't find battery operated toys here. I prefer no plastic but A has a small basket of My Little Ponies that I don't protest. We also allow lego blocks. Though we also have plain wooden blocks that get used often. We have a large basket of dress-up as well as our colorful playsilks. The playsilks get used almost more than the dress-up!

Even before F was born, I had a child-size table set up in our home. It's where my children do their artwork, crafts and practice writing. I've strung a line up for A to display her favorite finished pieces. Her art shelf is stocked with several paper types, paints, block crayons, pencil crayons, stickers, playdough and their supplies, flower press, a bead box and her craft basket. In that basket I've added some yarn for finger knitting, wool roving, buttons, washi tape, lacing cards and any other craft bits I find.

I have a book addiction. It's true. I'm a sucker for books. I've been really striving to limit how many books we own. We live so close to a good library that there isn't much reason to store the books in our home. The books for the children that I've felt are special enough to keep are housed in the playroom. Along with puzzles and small hand games, most books are found on the lower shelves.

Finally, my favorite part of the room. Their wooden kitchen was made by their dad. We have a shopping cart from Plan Toys and a child sized broom. Most of what is in their kitchen though I've found second-hand. We did get a few ceramic tea cups from Ikea but the rest I've found at thrift stores or consignment shops. One of the things I love about the wood kitchen is that once a month we give the kids rags with a bit of beeswax polish and they help us polish and care for the kitchen.

New Projects

With a new year I don't make resolutions, I make plans. I plan to start new projects. The grey and cold of the island winter makes for great project planning. My notebook is full of ideas. I've even been able to get started on some.

I think we all know how important probiotics and healthy gut bacteria are. I try to include something fermented in our meals every day. I've always been nervous to ferment in my own home. I tried sauerkraut years ago but the mold got it. I've been sticking with Bubbies brand sauerkraut and fermented pickles (which luckily both my children love). We also drink kefir and kombucha. It's definitely adding to our grocery bill as we go through all these ferments so quickly. One of my new projects is the ferment for our health. I've already started a batch of kombucha and I have a sour bread start going. I have so many recipes to try!

Of course I have a long (very long) list of knits I was to get onto my needles. I've already finished this horse for A's upcoming birthday and I'm casting on this sweater for F's birthday. I'd love to find the time to finish the Tea Leaves sweater I started for myself years ago (yep, years). As I collect ideas for knitting I'm also keeping finger knitting ideas in mind for A when she asks to knit with me. If you have any to share please let me know.

I have already started prepping my garden for spring. I have so many plans. I want to build raised beds, potato barrels, more patio containers, just anything to get even more from our garden. The price of vegetables has been baffling. We haven't had cauliflower in months because it's out of our budget. So we will grow and preserve as much as possible. I'd love to find a way to grow year round. One step at a time though. I've started turning the garden so I can get a handle on the weeds early and add some soil amendments in a few months time. In the meantime, I've started growing sprouts in the house because I need to cultivate something.

A only has a few months left of preschool. Forest preschool has been such a wonderful environment for her, she just loves it. I'm at a bit of a loss as to where to go from here. She's so social I'm not sure homeschool would suit her but our public school system is so flawed I can't but feel it's more damaging than anything else. What I wouldn't give for a Waldorf school in the area! So research and pro/con lists about this issue are ongoing.

I have more plans and projects to share but I will share them another time. I'd love to hear what you are planning for and what projects are going for you.

So it Begins

The first big virus has hit our family. It's been cycling through the kids and finally got me a few days ago. It's a rule in our family that we don't go spreading our germs so we have been hunkered down at home while we do our best to kick this chest cold to the curb. It seems mild enough until night hits and everyone begins coughing. Sleep has been difficult to come by this week.

We have been trying to keep April (and everyone else) from going stir crazy with simple activities. Lots of stories are being read, lots of pictures drawn (the autumn coloring sheet is from Little Acorn Learning's Facebook page), lots of warm baths. The weather has been fair so April and Jon have been working together to collect leaves from the yard for our compost. It's been a relief to get outside, no matter how briefly.

It's also been important for me to work to build up our immune systems. They need as much support as possible to help us fight off this bug and the many more we will encounter this autumn and winter. I've had thieves oil in the diffuser and humidifier all week. I plan on making some thieves soap too. I have a batch of healing bone broth in the slow cooker and we've been sure to add as much garlic to our meals as we can stand. It's also the time of year for elderberry and echincea. I find the best way to get all that immune boosting goodness into the kids is in popsicle form.

Here is my recipe for our Immunity Popsicles.

2 cups elderberry juice (I make this by soaking dried elderberries over night and staining before use)
1 cup frozen blueberries
1 tbsp powdered probiotics
1-2 tsp liquid echincea
7 drops of liquid vitamin D
1-2 tbsp raw honey (DO NOT add this if you are giving to children under 1 year of age)

Add all ingredients to blender. Blend until smooth. Pour into popsicle molds and freeze overnight. Enjoy!

Smoothies are the next best way to deliver nutrients. Strawberries are a great source of vitamin C and smoothies are easy to hide supplements like probiotics and liquid vitamins in. I've also been please that April has had a couple cups of hot water with lemon and honey. I'd like to add ginger but she says it's spicy. Jon just harvested some honey from our hives so we have been taking advantage of the benefits of that raw honey for our sore throats.

Wish everyone a health autumn and please share any other immune boosting tips you might have!

Applesauce Afternoon

 

September is here and it's apple season. In all honesty our apples were ready weeks ago but we were waiting for more autumn temperatures to get in the kitchen to make a batch of applesauce. I apologize for the photo quality, my kitchen has terrible lighting. I did design this project however for just April and myself so I wanted to capture so images. One-on-one time with April has been a challenge so I love to savor the moment.

Most of our apples were picked a few weeks ago and sent to the juicer. It's what we do every year. It makes our apples last longer (we have organic apple juice from our own yard year round) and nothing is better in the depths of winter than boiling a pot of homemade apple cider. There were still a few left on the tree and some had fallen into our yard from our neighbors neglected tree. We managed to collect a full basket together.

I think the actual operation of the apple peeler was a bit challenging for April. You can't go too slow or the peeler cuts to deeply and if you don't get the apple on quite right, the core breaks and the apple falls off. So mama did the peeling and April put the slices in the pot. She took her job very seriously. We had some fun too though. April stood on a stool near the peeler and tried to catch the juice droplets that were flying into the air with her tongue. After all that peeling and slicing, April indulged in the one leftover apple. She told me "Apples are my favorite. They are soooo tasty."

Only a few more tasks remained for my sweet girl. As we let the applesauce simmer (with a bit of water, a lot of cinnamon and a touch of coconut sugar), April collected all the "apple spaghetti" aka the peels and took them to the chickens. She used the peels to decorate their run. We let the applesauce simmer for at least an hour while we ate dinner. We made sure that April was the official tester. She declared that it was yummy so we knew it was ready. Breakfast the next morning was oatmeal with our special mama/daughter applesauce.

A Post about Loss

I type this post with a lot of sadness and a bit of guilt. The other night we lost two of our three Rhode Island Red chicks to raccoons. It was the first time we had lost any birds and losing two in one night was so crushing. Especially since I opened my back door to go out to check on the birds and the raccoons had laid out one of the birds on my back step.

At first we couldn't find the other bird and I was desperately hoping she was simply scared and had flown off to hide. I looked high and low several times during the day but could not find her. It wasn't until Jon returned home from work that we found her, hidden away but still a victim of the same raccoons. It was a sad day in the yard. The remaining red was sadly hovering over the body of it's deceased friend and my cat sat nearby meowing all morning long. She didn't even leave the yard today. All the chickens, even the nasty Wyandottes, were solemn and skiddish.

The guilt comes in when the reason for this loss is explained. That night, the night they died, we had not locked them into their coops. The Wyandottes prefer to roost in the coop and we've never seen them leave the coop before morning. However, we knew for a fact that from time to time if we didn't shoo them in, the reds would roost outside. We knew that the best way to keep them safe was to lock them in their coops at night. We had forgotten to lock them one night in the summer and they all were well and good. And then it happened again and again they were fine. Sadly, we were forgetting more than remembering. I'm so sad that our laziness cost us these birds. We are now renewed in our resolve to be the best stewards possible to these creatures. We've locked them in at dusk and done several checks during the night to make sure the coops are safe and uncompromised.

I'm not sure yet how this loss will affect April. She was very young when our pet guinea pig died and since then hasn't been faced with much loss. I'm not sure she has noticed that our flock is less two birds. At her age, I'm not ready to tell her that they were killed just to bring it to her awareness. However, should she ask where the other red chicks are, I will carefully explain that they are gone and answer her questions as truthfully as I can. Loss is going to be a part of her life on our little homestead. It's going to be a part of the lives of us all. It's important to acknowledge it and respect it but life is brief and cyclical so it is also important to continue on. We can learn from our mistakes, we can keep the memories but not dwell. This loss has made us more vigilant but I don't think it will make us fearful. I'm sorry little birds that your life ended this way but we won't forget our mistakes and we promise to protect your companions as best we can.

Some Days...

...we just have a tough time. The other day April did not want to eat but was displaying all the signs of low blood sugar. So we got creative. I'm sure most of you have seen or heard of this idea but it is so fun. We just filled a muffin tin with a bunch of goodies, sat down on the floor and had a snack. This day we had strawberries, watermelon, blueberries, grapes, apple, banana, Daiya cheese, tofu, raisins, graham crackers, cheddar bunnies and some Chex cereal. Even I enjoyed it. Some days you just have to do something out of the ordinary.

Let it go...

In motherhood there seems to be this pressure to do it all. Feed baby, bathe baby, change baby, entertain baby, put baby to sleep, do dishes, make meals, do laundry, wash the floors, tend the garden....the list goes on. I tried to keep to this list and be the model mother and wife. I found myself getting really run down and a little sad. I wasn't really enjoying the time with my daughter, it became just something on the to-do list and if something like bathing her or putting her to sleep took longer than I planned I would be behind on something else on my list. I also neglected to put any time on that list for myself. I even forgot to put down "Shower".
The list was impossible to maintain on a daily basis and I really beat myself up about the things that didn't get done instead of feeling joy in the things that were accomplished. What kind of mother was I becoming? In a strange way I felt I was implementing the routine and rhythm that so many books say is vital for children but the reality was that I was becoming overly scheduled and forgetting to acknowledge and go with the natural rhythm of life. I was so stressed about this role I felt I needed to fill that my health suffered. I got the worst stomach flu I've had in years. I become so dehydrated I couldn't even nurse my child. I had to put down the list and rest.
An amazing thing happened. I just never picked that list up again. I got over my flu and felt renewed. Yes, I had a fever of 103 but I slept, read books and drank tons of fluids and healed.
Before having kids I was pretty strict about the cleanliness of my home. I just can't function in a chaotic environment. But I made a commitment to myself and to April to not let the little messes come between us and happiness. I will tidy but I tell myself to let most of it go. I don't need to dust, sweep and vacuum all the time. Simply putting away the toys or cleaning off the table is enough to keep things tidy enough that we can play and work well. Sometimes if it is really bothering me, I just close the door to that room and we go somewhere else. Or better yet, we go outside.
It is a constant mantra for me but a good one. Just let it go. Focus on April. She is growing up and every minute is special. Sparkling clean floors are not the memories you want. No one is perfect so let it go. Who would have thought that I could be a better mother if I just dropped my to-do list.

See Mom, no need to fold, laundry is for fun!

Where We Stand

Everyone has their own views on how to raise children. It seems logical that many of us raise our own children the way we were raised. Not that my parents did anything wrong in raising me, in fact I think I turned out pretty good. The journey to adulthood however was a rocky one and I'm hoping by recognizing what I felt I needed in my childhood (and ultimately didn't really get) that I can give my own child a better journey towards the grown up they choose to be. Here are my thoughts on how we plan on raising our child (these are just thoughts, I want to be totally flexible so that I can adjust to my child's needs as well as my own).

Birth: Seems like the logical place to start. We are planning a peaceful homebirth. I have a great husband, doula and midwife so my confidence in our choice to birth at home is really high. I feel like I can be relaxed here and that things are more likely to go the way nature intended it if we are away from the medical world. Plus I can't tell you how wonderful it sounds to give birth in your home, have a shower in your own bathroom and crawl into your own bed with your new little baby and sleep uninterrupted by nurses and hospital going-ons.

Breastfeeding: The benefits of breastfeeding are impossible to ignore. Formula is not an option for us. We have a postpartum doula who will help me get the hang of breastfeeding if needed. I am also hoping to breastfeed for an extended period of time. It would be great if we could breastfeed until age 4 or 5 but we will just have to go with the flow on that one.

Sleeping: I was "taught" to sleep using the Faber method of crying it out. I don't think this method taught me to self soothe but rather taught me anxiety. We plan to co-sleep to the best of our abilities. We have a very small bedroom so we don't really have room for a family bed. We have a side-car co-sleeper for the early days but once the baby is older we are going to have find a different solution to the bed issue. The other problem that could affect our ability to co-sleep is that I am a light sleeper and Jon snores. If our baby is a light sleeper Jon may have to sleep elsewhere or if the baby makes noises all night I may not be able to handle so little sleep between the two of them. Again, we will just have to see how it goes.

Diapering/Pottying: I think I've mentioned before that we are going to try to practice Elimination Communication with our child. Jon and I both find it really strange to teach your child to eliminate into a diaper only to tell them a few years later that they should actually eliminate into the toilet. Baby's have the ability to recognize when they need to potty and if you recognize those cues of when they need to go and take them to the potty they will learn from the beginning to communicate with you about their elimination needs. Being that this is our first child I'm not putting a lot of pressure on myself to catch every pee or poop but I do hope that we can communicate regularly enough that eventually we don't really have to work at it, it will just be as natural as nursing. I do recognize that we will need to use diapers and when it comes to diapers I'm going to try to be strictly cloth diapering. We do have some disposables but I'm hoping to only use those when we are traveling and can't wash diapers or if we run out of clean diapers (which really should never happen but hey, it's good to be prepared).

Parenting: I believe in attachment parenting. I believe that children are to be respected as individuals from infancy. I'm not here to lord over my children, I'm here to love them and guide them. Creating a strong bond between mother and child is not about coddling them but about establishing love and trust. I want my child to be free to express themselves from an early age and be allowed to make their own decisions. However, I don't want to be disrespected in the process (for example, I don't want my needs for quiet or rest to be ignore because my child wants to run around yelling whenever he/she feels like it). We've been looking into the Montessori philosophy and reading books like Montessori from the Start and How to Raise an Amazing Child The Montessori Way. While I don't plan on using everything outlined in those books, I do really appreciate the emphasis on responsibility and respect. I feel that manners are an important social attribute and I like the way Montessori goes about teaching manners. We also plan on using the philosophy of consensual living in our home. Consensual living means that the needs of everyone are not only acknowledged but are included in the decision making process and solutions are mutually agreed upon. And finally I hope that in my communications with my family that I can continue to practice non-violent communication. I will admit that it can be real challenge, especially when I'm tired or stressed, but I do notice people respond well to it and I think it will be an effective method of communication with my child.

Schooling: Our plan regarding school is up in the air. I know that I do not want to send my child through the public school system however I'm not overly comfortable with homeschooling. I've been thinking of either a Montessori school (though many in the area don't go past grade 3) or a bio-regional school. I'm thinking that I will just put our child on the waiting lists and decide later. I've got more research to do.

Parenting Part 1

This is a tough post for me to write because I am not a parent. However I do plan to be and I like to think about parenting as though I am preparing for a test. I want to learn as much as I can and be prepared to make the best choices I can. As most of you probably know I work in childcare and in the past 6 months I have been able to observe some very interesting bits of parenting. Even though these are just glimpses into these peoples lives, it helps to remind me of what my expectations of parenting really are.
Everyone will have their own goals from parenting, their own expectations of their children. For me, parenting is about guiding more than ruling. As a parent you want to guide your children towards happiness and a fulfilling life. I want my children to be safe but still have the opportunity to learn from experiences so they can make choices for themselves. I also don't want to get hung up on my children growing up how I want them to, I want my children to grow up and do things that they want to, the things that will make them happy and fulfilled.
However for me the line of letting them determine what they need is drawn where their behavior negatively affects others. My class is filled with children that hit, pinch, bite, spit, kick and push each other if they don't get their way. While they are only five and haven't had a lot of years to learn from experience, I am disheartened by children whose parents don't feel the need to help their children learn. For them it is get disciplined or get away with it. There isn't really any interest from the parents of why did my child hurt someone else? or do they understand why they shouldn't kick or punch? They simply go to punishment.
How confusing it must be for the children. To have parents that don't talk to you and explain things or ask why you feel how you do. To have orders barked at you instead of talking with you. A friend of mine encouraged me to read a book on non-violent communication. I thought is was fabulous and have been trying to use it in all aspects of my life (though some habits are hard to break), especially with the children. The website describes NVC as a way to create human connections that empower compassionate giving and receiving. Sometimes NVC is referred to a compassionate communication. I try to use NVC as a way to understand the children better so I can form a better bond with them. At first many of them didn't respond well to the method and were frustrated with me but recently they have been able to talk to me more, use more "I feel" statements instead of the typical tattling statements that they were using before.
I feel that a huge part of parenting is effective communication with your children. If you can communicate well, there is more trust, more opportunities for learning and ultimately more love. If you are already a parent, take a moment and consider the way you communicate with your children (and with your spouse). If you are not a parent, how do you communicate with those around you? Is this how you would want to communicate with your children (or just others around you)?  If you are interesting in learning more about non-violent communication you can visit http://www.cnvc.org/ .
For me communication is one of the most important parts of parenting. I hope that in my small way as a part-time caregiver for these children, I can help them learn to communicate with others in a way that maybe their parents will appreciate as their children begin to communicate more with them.